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Other Half of my project!! [Apr. 3rd, 2010|11:37 pm]
livinglifefully
[Current Music |FOE Radio <3]

Ok here are the links to the poems I posted on Monday Eyes [the poetry group in the music community website, FriendsOrEnemies, which is everything I'm musically addicted to]

I meant to do this ON friday, but i started off my spring break spending frday night and all of saturday with amy :) ]

OK, SO, it won't let me link each poem, b/c theyre on a discussion page or whatever. so i will link you to that discussion, and also to my profile on the website, and in my activity it will show all 5 of the posts in MONDAY EYES. I won't do anything on the website right now so theyll be right at the top :)  sorry about this!

http://www.friendsorenemies.com/group/mondayeyes/forum/topics/add-your-poetry-prose-and?commentId=3184036%3AComment%3A330566&groupId=3184036%3AGroup%3A194395


http://www.friendsorenemies.com/profile/bocababyxfobxluver


goodbye blog project, maybe ill come back to livejournal one day, for now i'll return to tumblr, bye ms wei!! :)
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One of my more favored of the poems [Mar. 31st, 2010|10:25 pm]
livinglifefully
[Current Music |Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy -- Fall Out Boy <3]

this is one of my more favored of  my poems. it doesnt really have a title though.

You are not perfect.
from a far you are the poster
of everything that I want.
But the closer I get,
I can see the tears in that portrait,
where you keep lies
and spew hatred.
The crinkled paper will not be fixed
by my tireless efforts
to smooth your edges.

I feel the shards of glass
where you shattered
the fragility of security and
comfort that surrounded us.

I am too close now.
I feel enchanted by
the same ways you led me here.
But these cuts ache,
and I cannot move
from this spot
in your destructive art.



i think this is the last one[saved the best for last? lol]. I will post 5 poems on Monday Eyes.
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More poem [Mar. 31st, 2010|10:06 pm]
livinglifefully
[Current Music |I'm Lost Without You -- Blink -182 <3]

this one could be titled "Dreams" btw most of my poems have no or very little rhyme patterns, but this on does!

Dreams of the future
Dreams of the past
Dreams of true love at last.

Dreams of the worst
Dreams of the best
Dreams of that move
my heart in my chest.

Dreams of new hopes
Dreams of destructions
Dreams that express
my malfunctions.

Dreams at night
Dreams in the day
Dreams that wash it all away.

Dreams of reality
Dreams of how it seems
Dreams that i always dream.
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Another Poem [Mar. 31st, 2010|09:51 pm]
livinglifefully
[Current Music |Can't Stand It -- NeverShoutNever! <3]

ok heres another one of the poems im going to post:
I guess the title would be "This Room is So Blue"

This room is so blue.

I sit in this  corner,
just four walls, a wooden door
and even a small window.
But the walls are blue.
The door is heavy ad
the window is foggy.

This room is so blue.
I cannot open my eyes
for I fear finding myself
in the same lonely corner.

This room is so blue.
I try to cover the blue
with other colors and
pictures of change, and
hope, and happiness.
But the blue seeps in
through the cracks and spaces
and even I am not convinced.

This room is so blue.
with blinding white up so high
and the unknown below,
there is nowhere to go.
Will there ever be an escape?
Can someone ever change these colors?
This room is so blue.
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(no subject) [Mar. 31st, 2010|09:34 pm]
livinglifefully
[Current Mood |anxiousanxious]
[Current Music |Ali for Cody -- Senses Fail <3]

ok so this project ends friday, i havent counted the amount of entries i did, but it's ok, because the other half of my points will be to post my poems on FOE. i will post em here and then on MondayEyes.

So, I must admit this is ambitious for me becuase I hate failing and not being good at stuff and being judged. [lol all reasons im an AP student right?!?]

lol well i posted one a few weeks ago, thatll be one of the posts on Monday Eyes.  here's another one,

"Right Here" 
the sign screams
so quietly in the dark.

beckoning to
the easily lost
and the easily won.

Its lights overwhelming,
but so subtle,
it's almost inevitable.

Bright and Buzzing,
the sign points
to nowhere
but it stands
"Right Here" 
just over there.

its kinda short but yeahhh
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(no subject) [Mar. 18th, 2010|02:00 am]
livinglifefully
[Current Music |If It Means A Lot To You -- A Day To Remember <3]

this damn english paragraph thats already late, picking classes, getting classes, passing classes, graduating, going to college, uhhhg college, berkeley, *crippling pains of depression and failure*, eeeeehhhh, happy thoughts happy thoughts?, concert during spring break. finally its been FOREVER. umm prom, yay prom, oh god gotta plan my stuffs, how are we getting there? when? where? dinner? bonnetierre or whatever its called, oh god my parents, pictures!, will it be awkward? yeah a little. will we have fun? of course its prom, right? what about after? bowling? home? food fosho! ahh and tickets! gotta clear detentions oh so hard why do i not have detentions all year and then BAM! uuuh i hate complications, make me nervous and then stressed and anxious. anxious! like voting! for my cousin! only 15 days left and we ned to move up. i eel like itll be my fualt if he doesnt win. ahh why cant ppl just click? its not that hard! i really hope he gets it so itll all have been worth it. uhg. and and class elections! gotta support my friends! outlook. fun but sometimes stressful, deadline tomorrow, which means cant earn extra credit in any of my classes, i need it too, but itll be fun, satire, ive never written satire, and mines not very witty, guess im  not a very witty writier. ahh and editor appications! i knew it wouldnt be automatic but applications make me stressed, i can never confidently say im qualified, and i can never rest easy until i know the answer. gotta answer the questiona ah and the interview, what the hell is that like? i was sooo scared last time. ah and my research paper. gotta get it approved. with my luck he wont approve it and ill have to think of something new. i rarely had the capacity to come up with what i have and its not even a good topic. can i forgoe originality and write a good paper? lol that is if i can write a good paper. 8-10 pages is insane. bleah and due the day of prom. with my poor time management skills ill be extremely busy the week of prom. bleah. oh go pre-calc. i got a 36. a 30freaking6. i might as well have not taken the test and saved myself the stress studying fear and dissappointment. well w/e im taking it over again. never thought id have to do that in high schoool X| failure. omg physics test tomorrow. im going to do horrible, i feel like i dont understand anything! at least we get a study card, which i have to finish tomorow b/c i feel like im missing something important! everytime i look at doyles test i just stare at it b/c i have no clue where to start. uh and vocab test and another TWO paragraphs due Friday.  and a math quiz! least i kinda get it, although thats what i said abt the 36. i need my liscence. ive decided ill jus skip the whole permit business and go straight for a liscence when i turn 18. cuase ill have time then right? :/ noo not with that stupid confirmation class! i hate that stupid class. if i have to lie about my relationship with God and act like i feel anything in tht class then i shouldnt take it right? why cant i just be how i am now. im catholic, i do believe in God, i pray like twice a year and i dont go to church. but im catholic. and all of a sudden i have to prove myself to a bunch of strangers? well excuse me if i hate that. and an hour every wednesday till NEXT november?! cool ruin senior year.  omg im gonna be as senior. time flies. why is it all going so fast? college apps will be the death of me. i swear it. i cant do it. what about letters of rec? who can i ask? do any of my teachers even like me enough or actually beleive they should reccomend me for anything? i couldnt even write myself one. damn my self-confidence and self-esteem, or lack of the two. bleah. i need sleep. omg sleep. i miss you, i need you, i cry for you. but i cant. i have hw. i need a new ipod. mine is out of memory space. which is sad as hell. i need a classic or something then ill never need a new one after that. lol that will never happen. but hopefully ill get a macbook for my 18th birthday. ive been counting on it. OMG. im gonna 18. im not ready for that. im not an adult. i dont care abt politics and i dont wanna smoke, so ill just stay a 17 year old. or how about 10? back when life was good. oh yeah its been that long since i didnt know what stress was like? stressstressstressstressstress. yeah thats what this post is about. whats on my mind and stress -.-
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(no subject) [Mar. 17th, 2010|12:20 am]
livinglifefully
soo it amazes me how i find time to blog when i should have written a paragraph. uhgg i cant bring myself to write it. maybe ill just write the extra credit chunk. wait no i already didnt do a paragraph. thats bad. do i care? not very much i guess. ive pretty much given up on a lot of stuff. like pre-calc. wtf i got a 36 on a test i almost cried, i almost left. i wanted to die. speaking of, my mother was talking about berkeley today, and you know shes my mom so she has to tell me ill get in and i want it too bad not too, but i just keep telling her theres no way. then i tell her to please stop, because i was resolved not to think about it today, b/ci ll get enough college talk with the counselors tomorrow. uhg. finally scheduling my last classes ]. then i can graduate and...... well idk what ill do, if i make it through that time of rejection that is college apps, maybe ill go to a school that isnt berkeley and ill be okay. ill be regretful and unsatisfied, but okay. oh that reminds me, i posted that video because i dont feel okay. i feel awful. i dont have the motivation or will to do a good job at anything. my grades are crappy and i should try to get them up, but at this point theres no point.

i stayed home monday because i woke up literally pissed off, like i wanted to throw a fit like a little kid whos in pain. thats how pissed i was. i had  gotten abt 2 hours of sleep, just laying there til 3, then lying there from 5 til when my dad woke up, and when the sun rose, so when i came out my mom said i looked stressed [pissed] and to go back to bed. i of course had to weigh the "what am i gonna miss" because who cares about my health when i might miss a review? welli was thinking about that when i pretty much collapsed into a sleep of exhaustion [lol wait! im not a celebrity diva with a drug problem!] well i did and then i slept til 1. it was nice, til i woke up to find that my dad and sister had stayed home too. well great instead of catching up on hw or more sleep, i cooked and cleaned and watched transformers. flapjacks.

ummm so i abandoned everything for a little bit. for the last 2 hours. i started freaking out, i dont think this blog is helping any. just makes me think abt stuff. then my poor mother has to ask whats wrong. well i need to work so i can ge tot sleep. paragraph will have to be late, well ill just make sure i do that extra chunk this weekend. ahh history test tomorrow. and physics test thurs, and vocab test thurs, and pre-calc quiz friday. and deadline on thurs! and that stupid no god confirmation class tomorrow. ehh i think id rather be a hethen than ruin my senior year with lying about my relationship with god. cant where im at ever be good enough? why do i have to prove myself to this stupid religion? no one in that class even wants to be there, its for our parents, and i get where theyre coming from, but its different for us, expectations with everything are higher for us than them, and becoming a confirmed catholic is no exception. i dont have 30 sundays to go to church! ill have to take my hw and sit in the back! and uhhg, ok ill rant abt that thing later. like tomorrow after class. bleah.
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(no subject) [Mar. 16th, 2010|10:43 pm]
livinglifefully
[Tags|]
[Current Mood |depresseddepressed]
[Current Music |Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge - My CHemical Romance [album]]

www.youtube.com/watch

The video link above is to the song "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" by My Chemical Romance. [ XD oh yeah i love that good emo stuff, the title the band name the look, love it <3 hahah] anyways, so i looove this song and this video, and it took me freaking forever to find one with decently pixelated quality. stupid youtube+copyrights = no more awesome music vidoes :c

okay so i just spent alot more time than i should have watching the vid and writing down all the words that pop up, mostly that part where they flash across the screen for about  second. but i think i got it and i wanna type it out. [dont read of you dont care?]


If you ever felt
Alone
If you ever felt
Rejected
If you ever felt Confused
If you ever felt Lost
If you ever felt Anxious
If you ever felt Wrong
If you ever felt Wronged
If you ever felt Unclean
If you ever felt Angry
If you ever felt Ashamed
If you ever felt Curious
If you ever felt
Used
Be prepared to feel
Revenge
Feel the romance
My Brutal Romance
My Beautiful Romance
My Miserable Romance
My X-Rated Romance
My Harlequin Romance
My Innocent Romance
My Scandalous Romance
My Selfish Romance
My Childish Romance
My Pathetic Romance
My Watercooler Romance
My Chemical Romance

well i mite print it out so i can put it on a binder or something. ok well i wanted to rant too, so ill do another post so as to not get too lengthy.  it will inclued why i just posted this too.
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ME?! post a poem? post 6?! :| [Mar. 9th, 2010|09:49 pm]
livinglifefully
[Tags|, ]
[Current Mood |curiouscurious]
[Current Music |Skyway Avenue - We The Kings /and/ Hella Good- No Doubt]

so this blog is only half of the points of this extra credit thing. the other half is to post at least 6 poems on Monday Eyes, a poetry and prose group. so I think i will post them here first. Ok so the poem below: yeah this is the one i wrote for the original poem in english, but i was kinda proud of it so im gonna post it. [BTW, if anyone sees this, please comment on the poems, becuase i would appreciate feedback.] 

Love Manages

The lonely one

who watches where they walk,

talking to their shoes to pass time

and still a dreamer.

Love manages to elude each.

 

The enamored one

with someone warm in their arms,

caught up in the zeal

of their passion.

Love manages to capture all.

 

The weeping one

sitting in the dark shadow,

and bitter tasting smoke

of a dead flame.

Love manages to break like glass

 

The content one

with vows of “For better or worse”

in love for fifty years,

they have survived

Love manages to endure.

 

 

In the warm summer night fun,

or in the cold winter mornings silence:

Love manages, to elude each.

Love manages, to capture all.

Love manages, to break like glass.

Love manages, to endure.

 

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The Breakfast Club and other movies make me think unrealistically [Mar. 9th, 2010|09:35 pm]
livinglifefully
[Tags|]
[Current Music |Awol - Broadway :)]



loooove this movie. i need to watch it this weekend. sixteen candles was on the other night. lol i wish i had been around in the 80's. woulda been fun!i LOVE 80's movies. :D

wait ok, so maybe i should add something of meaning to this blog. ok how about, because of 80's movies (and others of course) i am a sucker for "cliches" and "kodak moments" and "just like the movies" stuff. so when stuff like that actually happens, im always like "awww! that was perfect!" . or if a situation could set it up perfectly, i often suggest crazy perfect things that would only happen in the movies. and alot of times it makes some stuffs disappointing. but at least i have my iiimaginaaationn XD
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